To wage a War.

What are you fighting for ? Will you continue to do so even if the ones who will ultimately pay the price are your friends ? Is what you want worth it ?

From recent events, I gather that I'm not particularly 'lucky'. To have so many factors work against me in practically everything I do is just so fucking infuriating. But what can a mere man do against the will of God.

I was the unlucky one of us three. Whatever I do, it seems that I am the one who always get the shorter end of the straw. Maybe it is just not meant to be; no matter how hard I try, we are just fated to be pitted against.

I am unhappy, but contented. I bear no ill will towards those around me and I regrettably apologise if I were to hurt any of you in the near future. But I will see to it that my efforts are not of waste. I will fight for what I want and worked for.

I am truly, terribly sorry.

***

Sometimes, the nice people are the ones that are hurt the most. The good however, continue to give despite their painful past experiences.

Sadness is a disease. It is easily contagious, dangerous if left unchecked and inevitably part of us.

And so I tell myself. Smile. The tears in your heart are yours to bear, not the burden of others.
I don't want your pity. I hate to make others feel guilty. What I want is your respect, and if I am not worth it, then I probably don't deserve it.

Again and again, I take the hits. I swallow my tears and hold myself together. Only when I'm alone, that's when I go pitch black.

-Zarae.Smile