I thought I found love. Gave my all and failed. Experienced surviving a heartbreak.
My brothers stuck it through with me. Encouraged me..... In their own way of course.
Conquered the As although not as well as I expected. Results pending....
Lost someone that I dearly loved. My heart bled.
I emerged from 2011 as a totally changed person. Humbled. Troubled.
And tonight....Wasted ;)
Out with the old and in with the new !
-Zarae.PassingOfANewAge.OnwardsToTheNewWorld.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
End of the road
Recent events had led to me believe that the world is not as kind as it seems.
Where people see opportunities, I see dead ends.
-Zarae.NeverWinter.
Where people see opportunities, I see dead ends.
-Zarae.NeverWinter.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Running away from hell and fire.
It's decided then. That if the chance ever arises, I would definitely take it without hesitation, at this very moment anyways; A ticket to leave this insufferable place. I hate the people here, the stifling humidity and not to mention the lack of appreciation for my talents.
London at first glance would be an ideal place to start. If that is, the discriminations would ever be erased along with the stereotypes and racism. Okay. Maybe stereotypes can stay, 'cause they're fun. But the coloured lens of racism must go, for they are downright despicable and irritable.
I wonder sometimes if I was ever as annoying as my brothers. Immature...yes... but forced to grow up quickly nonetheless. Much more quickly than they'll ever need to. Disgusting little buggers, they. Imbeciles in their own arrogant rights. Fools that fail to envision their incurable disease,which is being retarded. The foreseen outcome, a degenerative spiral downwards that will soon be met with inevitable and devastating demise.
It is no doubt imperative that I must shake them from their cotton candy cloud 9 but alas, I've grown quite weary and frankly irritated at my futile attempts at rehabilitating these worthless pricks.
Perhaps I should leave these imps to their own devilish devices for awhile and focus on my own current well-being. Still...It is still infuriating to see. Is it not ?!
The intoxicating smell of rain has once again rekindled my arrogant self. Humility, I keep telling myself, is the only way to prevent my now volatile psyche from erupting in a violent vehemence.
-Zarae.Kindle.TwigsThatFeedTheFlames.
London at first glance would be an ideal place to start. If that is, the discriminations would ever be erased along with the stereotypes and racism. Okay. Maybe stereotypes can stay, 'cause they're fun. But the coloured lens of racism must go, for they are downright despicable and irritable.
I wonder sometimes if I was ever as annoying as my brothers. Immature...yes... but forced to grow up quickly nonetheless. Much more quickly than they'll ever need to. Disgusting little buggers, they. Imbeciles in their own arrogant rights. Fools that fail to envision their incurable disease,which is being retarded. The foreseen outcome, a degenerative spiral downwards that will soon be met with inevitable and devastating demise.
It is no doubt imperative that I must shake them from their cotton candy cloud 9 but alas, I've grown quite weary and frankly irritated at my futile attempts at rehabilitating these worthless pricks.
Perhaps I should leave these imps to their own devilish devices for awhile and focus on my own current well-being. Still...It is still infuriating to see. Is it not ?!
The intoxicating smell of rain has once again rekindled my arrogant self. Humility, I keep telling myself, is the only way to prevent my now volatile psyche from erupting in a violent vehemence.
-Zarae.Kindle.TwigsThatFeedTheFlames.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Tears
I always thought myself to be strong. Heartless, fearless and emotionless, if need be that is.
And life as always, would, one fine day choose to dispel my long line of self-confident qualities. The slow build up of events that lead up to my catalytic dream last night. Sigh....
Tears. It has been quite some time now. The unrestrained chain of wetness, impervious and immune to all sorts of ebbing control now wet on my pillow. Feelings of old and new resurfacing; the experience vivid and fresh.
Life. It’s a beautiful thing, despite the utter ugliness form of man.
-Zarae.MarsmallowsHeart
And life as always, would, one fine day choose to dispel my long line of self-confident qualities. The slow build up of events that lead up to my catalytic dream last night. Sigh....
Tears. It has been quite some time now. The unrestrained chain of wetness, impervious and immune to all sorts of ebbing control now wet on my pillow. Feelings of old and new resurfacing; the experience vivid and fresh.
Life. It’s a beautiful thing, despite the utter ugliness form of man.
-Zarae.MarsmallowsHeart
Friday, December 9, 2011
Clean slate?!
Malicious. Absolutely distasteful.
Digging his feet into the soft white sand once more, the Prince, a mere shadow of his former self had returned to the island once more. The salty winds blew gently across his face. How he had missed her gentle caress.
The surrounding archipelagos now deserted. His winged comrades each, had long left these desolate islands.
Isla Dementia. Land of the Dreaded.
He sat there beneath the trio of tall palm trees that have grown majestically during his absence. The sea sprayed tiny droplets of spittle with each crashing wave. Ahh...The nostalgia. He remembered the days, where he would just recline against the bark, sprawled in the shade, and crying his heart out.
If only I could do something about the heat.
-Zarae. TaintedByTheMiasmaOfTime
Digging his feet into the soft white sand once more, the Prince, a mere shadow of his former self had returned to the island once more. The salty winds blew gently across his face. How he had missed her gentle caress.
The surrounding archipelagos now deserted. His winged comrades each, had long left these desolate islands.
Isla Dementia. Land of the Dreaded.
He sat there beneath the trio of tall palm trees that have grown majestically during his absence. The sea sprayed tiny droplets of spittle with each crashing wave. Ahh...The nostalgia. He remembered the days, where he would just recline against the bark, sprawled in the shade, and crying his heart out.
If only I could do something about the heat.
-Zarae. TaintedByTheMiasmaOfTime
Thursday, December 1, 2011
A drink to death.
1 December 2011
5.30pm
It pains me just to see him lying there. His sickly and weak body just resting there, inhaling deeply, like every breath would be his last. His skin, like wet paper, was covered with bruises, formed from the slightest of trauma.
He was tied down, restraints put in place to keep him from removing the oxygen mask. The sole apparatus that is keeping him alive.
Too weak to breathe let alone talk, yet he was still adamant in taking the mask that obscured his speech. Perhaps he was desperately trying to tell us his last words. His dying will.
He never got to say them.
Nonetheless, the arrests did not prevent him from trying. His skin became torn as a result of his abrasive struggles.
He also drifted in and out of coma. Unable to respond directly but we knew that he could still hear us. His heart rate spiked whenever we called out his name.
公公, 你听得到我吗? 我是国川, 我来看你了.
He passed away 20 minutes ago. After enduring nights from the painful effects of pneumonia, he finally passed on. To a better place my cousin put it.
People will ask if I was close to my grandfather.
My answer regrettably will always be. “Not as close as I wished we were."
The sadness will inevitably pass with time. The memories of him however will not.
And then there will be the hatred for my sorry excuse of a brother. That retarded scumbag had the nerve to continue playing his game instead of informing me of the death of our, correction, my grandfather.
20minutes.
The most regretful 20minutes of my life.
And that brings us here. This hurtful concoction of spite and sorrow.
-Zarae.LetsDrinkToTheDead.
5.30pm
It pains me just to see him lying there. His sickly and weak body just resting there, inhaling deeply, like every breath would be his last. His skin, like wet paper, was covered with bruises, formed from the slightest of trauma.
He was tied down, restraints put in place to keep him from removing the oxygen mask. The sole apparatus that is keeping him alive.
Too weak to breathe let alone talk, yet he was still adamant in taking the mask that obscured his speech. Perhaps he was desperately trying to tell us his last words. His dying will.
He never got to say them.
Nonetheless, the arrests did not prevent him from trying. His skin became torn as a result of his abrasive struggles.
He also drifted in and out of coma. Unable to respond directly but we knew that he could still hear us. His heart rate spiked whenever we called out his name.
公公, 你听得到我吗? 我是国川, 我来看你了.
He passed away 20 minutes ago. After enduring nights from the painful effects of pneumonia, he finally passed on. To a better place my cousin put it.
People will ask if I was close to my grandfather.
My answer regrettably will always be. “Not as close as I wished we were."
The sadness will inevitably pass with time. The memories of him however will not.
And then there will be the hatred for my sorry excuse of a brother. That retarded scumbag had the nerve to continue playing his game instead of informing me of the death of our, correction, my grandfather.
20minutes.
The most regretful 20minutes of my life.
And that brings us here. This hurtful concoction of spite and sorrow.
-Zarae.LetsDrinkToTheDead.
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