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-Zarae.RidingTheHallyuWave

Road Rage

Hey hey ! Yeah, you over there ! Fucking use your signal lights moron !


Still can't park for nuts.

-Zarae.Roadrage313

Powerless

We are all so small, so powerless in so many ways. Even the mightiest and influential of us are nothing but mere specks compared to everything else.

In movies or books, you always see the egotistic antagonist shown the comparison between him and the universe, only to realize how insignificant he really is. He has a mental breakdown and self-destructs.

That egotistic villain, I'm him right now. Truth and short fuse; not a very good brew.

-Zarae.Infinite.Indefinite. 

Family.

It's really ironic to be saying this, especially after what the previous posts are encouraging...but, I've decided to quit for good.

I am quitting alcohol.

***

It all started with a case of acid reflux. And the cause for said reflux? Alcohol. Like duh...

With that being said, my remaining grandfather, decided today to share with me my family's history with alcoholism, gambling and smoking. Truth be told, there were quite a lot of shitty examples before me.

Liver cancer, heart cancer, amputation and from various sources ranging from distant uncles to my great great grandfather himself.

He was sincere. He really cared. And for those of you who didn't know, the Chinese people rarely show affection like this.

Therefore, I'm staying away right now. I'll be staying away from all the shit and disease for him and for myself.

-Zarae.PartyWithoutPoison.

Let's get drunk on high !

Legally abusing alcohol ever since I left you.

-Zarae.ICantEraseYou.

S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W

-Zarae.PsychedelicFireFly

Phantasm

I forgot what it's like to be happy; to be ever so carefree, not having to be shackled down by everyday life. Sometimes I just want to take off and run away. Run away and never come back.

I drink too much these days. It's hard to be happy when you've already forgotten what it feels like.

-Zarae.Frown.

Just because I'm broken.

Can it still be called a prize if you begged for it ?

-Zarae.Fractum

GRAVITY

The hardest thing to do in the morning is to open your eyes and tell yourself that you can get through it; after doing the same stupid shit everyday for the past year.

-Zarae.YouWontWearMeDown.

Defeated

"Firers watch your front!"
With that single command, five soldiers in camouflaged green raised and poised their SAR21s in anticipation of their next few shots. The lance corporal in lane nine however had bigger stakes riding on this very shoot.
His uniform was already soaked in sweat, skin pasty and cold, his every breath shortened with each inhale. He tightened his grip, looked through the scope, tunnel vision already kicking in as he tried to hold steady his aim.

 As the first of the targets whipped up, shots went echoing through the chamber. The board that had served as the enemy promptly snapped down for lane nine.

"You can do this!" he muttered to himself as the chamber safety officer confirmed the hit. "Left, double, right." Reassuring himself of the order of which the targets will be appearing.

This time, two targets came up. With a rapid motion, the lance corporal fired off two shots. Feeling triumphant, he looked up from his scope only to discover that both targets were still up; he had missed them both.

And with that, it signalled the end of his trial. He had failed to obtain the necessary shots to obtain the marksman grade. The past two days and last twenty hours have gone to waste. He had failed.

There's no worse than the feeling of being inadequate; to give your best and still end up short.

-Zarae.BestedAndBeaten

Exhausted.

In the well we go. Spoiler alert! You're not going to have much fun.

-Zarae.

Some days.

-Zarae.LestYouForget.

When all else fails.

Today sucks. It always/usually does.
 Like today for example:

1) I failed to buy my cider 'cause the bitches at Cold Storage didn't accept my vouchers when they can just close an eye and wave me past.

2) I lost every single round of Warcraft to my brother just cause I messed up each game.

3) My arms are sore, dry eyes from too much gaming and this insufferable feeling that I'm just not good enough.

Today is one of those days that you just want to shout "FUUUUUUUUCK!"

Fuck everything. Life sucks.

-Zarae.ShitAssDay

If The World Only Knew.

Watching, always watching with your little pair of critical eyes.
From your little safe haven, you look out at the world and judge.
You prize yourself as the Adjudicator, a critic of life.
 Whilst you see those around you, what you fail to comprehend is the cardinal root cause.
The problem is not with others. It lies with you.
Ye of little faith and humility.

You. A hindrance to our progress.

-AddressedToYou.

****

Until the Sun bleeds into darkness.

-Zarae.

Happy Birthday

After two decades, the small things start to lose their charm.

Zarae.TheBirthdayCakeThatRanAway.

Valentine.

Roses are red,
That maybe true.
But violets are purple,
And not fucking blue.

-Zarae.

To wage a War.

What are you fighting for ? Will you continue to do so even if the ones who will ultimately pay the price are your friends ? Is what you want worth it ?

From recent events, I gather that I'm not particularly 'lucky'. To have so many factors work against me in practically everything I do is just so fucking infuriating. But what can a mere man do against the will of God.

I was the unlucky one of us three. Whatever I do, it seems that I am the one who always get the shorter end of the straw. Maybe it is just not meant to be; no matter how hard I try, we are just fated to be pitted against.

I am unhappy, but contented. I bear no ill will towards those around me and I regrettably apologise if I were to hurt any of you in the near future. But I will see to it that my efforts are not of waste. I will fight for what I want and worked for.

I am truly, terribly sorry.

***

Sometimes, the nice people are the ones that are hurt the most. The good however, continue to give despite their painful past experiences.

Sadness is a disease. It is easily contagious, dangerous if left unchecked and inevitably part of us.

And so I tell myself. Smile. The tears in your heart are yours to bear, not the burden of others.
I don't want your pity. I hate to make others feel guilty. What I want is your respect, and if I am not worth it, then I probably don't deserve it.

Again and again, I take the hits. I swallow my tears and hold myself together. Only when I'm alone, that's when I go pitch black.

-Zarae.Smile

Sometimes.

Some days, I just feel so worthless.

-Zarae.StuckOnASinkingShip

A small mind shooting off his fucking big mouth.

What uncouth atrocity. Blabbering buffoon disgracing his own house, insufferable; ignorant fool.

You mistake my silence for passiveness. You mistook it for weakness; I can tell you now that you are sorely deluded. With whatever meagre macabre you possess can only but wish to challenge me. 

And again, let me dumb this down for you. I am no genius or savant but you my dear are but a curious little leper. Diseased, plagued and corrupted with whatever the society has been so kind to ‘endow’ to you. Your ‘reign’ or so you sought to cheat yourself of, is merely an illusion. You are the grey area between retribution and charity.

For illustration purposes, let me paint a tale for your dimmed dimmed mind.

A ruffian (gangsta) was feeling particularly nefarious one day and decided to have a little ‘fun’. He ventures forth finding his prey, a weakling he can terrorize without jeopardy or repercussions. Little did he know however, that said victim happens to be the son of a billionaire. And so, the very next day he returned to his conglomerate organisation only to find out that he has been retrenched.

The ruffian tried very hard over the course of the years to find a proper job opportunity as despite his tough and aggressive attitude was actually a very timid person moreover, he had a family of four and his wife is pregnant with another. He desperately needed a job but no matter how low he is willing to endure, he could not find employment. Thus, without a proper job, the man was forced to commit crimes and let’s just say that his crime spree had a little more of a premature end.

Locked behind bars, his family lost the only breadwinner but just as everything seemed the darkest, they received an anonymous donation enough to sustain the family. Relieved was the man in prison until the truth walked in on him.

It was found out that the victim had hired a PI to trail the ruffian and instructed him to sabotage the man’s attempt at employment by all means necessary. The ruffian, till the end, led a life of a beggar, begging for alms, scrapes and benefits. The victim, after spending a few weeks on his obsession of torturing the ruffian began to forget the man. He led a wonderful life, glamorous and exciting.

Moral? Don’t mess with the guy that can or potentially could ruin your life.

This post started off as a rant but as I wrote and rewrote it, it dawned on me why I felt so angry. It is as though God feels for his humans. He set rules and punish those that disobey yet no matter how bad they performed as his creations, he never stopped loving them. When I look upon your corrupted figure, I see not the physical attractiveness that you claim to have many maids swoon over you but rather the corrupted, disfigured character, rotting underneath. And it is this ugliness that I wish to address. For far too long have the world been indulged in its perverse tolerance for those that do not deserve it. And I’m just a step short of dying to address it.

So, with vengeance still having yet been redressed, to you my lovely I have 4 words for you… 4 words that set us apart. 

That is, Out of Your League.

-Zarae.FilthyAnimals

Fairytale

I hear all you've to say. "There is no fairytale ending here on Earth." And coming from all you people, the ones I love and respect just makes it harder to accept than it already was.

It hurts, I guess... To suddenly wake up into a world of nightmares. A world where everything is just...just so...raw, so dull.

I live for fantasies, adventure and action. Yet all I am asked to do right now is told to wait, day after day, month after month. "Wait patiently." they say, "Just wait patiently." And so I do as I'm told.

I train. I eat healthy. I run and run, telling myself that if this is what I need to become better then it is what I need to do. One step at a time, I compel myself to run forward, run faster.

But apparently, it’s just not fast enough. Or so I'm constantly told.

-Zarae.WhenYourWorldFallsApart.